Lifestyle The Excellence of a Legacy

The Ex-Factor

Welcome back, darlings! Okay guys, this is a future authors note popping into tell you beautiful souls that this post was originally meant for Valentine’s Day! It wasn’t until I got home from a lunch date with my family that I realized I never posted this! So, forgive me as the old black folks say, “Charge it to my head and not my heart!” Anyways, just close your eyes and imagine it’s Valentine’s Day all over again and enjoy this post!

Photo by Flora Westbrook on

I’m going to get mushy for two second and then we’ll get ourselves together. Raise your hand if you’ve never been on a date? Raise your hand if the whole Valentine’s Day thing really bums you out, not because of the couples who line the streets with their flashy means of PDA but rather the loss of real love in our culture? Now, I’ve got nothing against people who chose to express their love on Valentine’s Day but it’s I do despise when people’s intention is in the wrong place. I just feel as though every day should be a national day of love if you’re in a relationship, and not just something you post on Instagram to make others jealous. As a young GenZer or whatever their calling us now, it may seem weird to you, but recently I’ve been craving the type of nostalgic love that has pretty much gone extinct now. The kind of love that our grandparents had that made you work for something because you cared about it so much. A love that didn’t strive to be perfect for the pubic atmosphere that is so blindly forced on young love, but the type that allows your soul to merge into one because you’ve found someone that is more you then you are.

This “wishful thinking” often comes across as irresponsible, hopeless, and almost desperate to a culture that is losing what the true idea of love really is. The term ‘soulmates’ has nearly become a dirty word when it comes to romance. It’s coined as something unrealistic and slightly delusional, but why? Why is the narrative of things like true love such a turn off to some people when they’re the same people so desperately reaching out to find the exact thing? I believe that our society has raised two things that are not only making us more lonely but cold to the idea of love in the first place. One, people don’t know how to be alone and the Instagram couple era that will never end!

There’s nothing wrong with showing your relationship for the whole world to see, but the problem most often lies when the highlight reels of the relationship are shown to people who may or may not view it as what the “idea of love should look like.” Yes, there is no controlling how people choose to view something but there is a responsibility to the couple almost to show what a real relationship looks like. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Of course, people will have everything to say but you were the one putting it out there for everyone to see! It can also cause an unrealistic idea of what a relationship should look like, which then changes the mindset of those in a relationship that doesn’t resemble your highlight reel. With the ruling era of Instagram couple goals there is less and less outlets there recognize single people and rekindle the mindset that you can be single and just fine. Like truly, not looking for a relationship, focusing on me, and single!

No one knows how to be with themselves long enough to even figure out what they truly value in someone. Then once they’ve finally gotten into a relationship it’s no different then the one’s before because there was no consideration as to what they’d bring to the table! Just like no one really cares about your latest Instagram post, whether you went to that party, there is nothing wrong with celebrating Valentine’s Day or not! In the least cynical way possible, I’m only in it for the free candy and re-visiting the rad history behind the whole “holiday” but other than that being apart of a day that is specifically used as a gold mind for greedy capitalist isn’t really up my speed. And don’t come for me in the comments about Christmas, it’s my favorite holiday regardless, don’t judge me! Anyways, when I was planning on writing something for Valentine’s Day it was by no means a commentary on societies lack thereof anything resembling really love at times, but that’s what I was compelled to write. So, I hope you liked it. This post is dedicated to my great grandparents timeless and adorable love affair that holds true the fact that finding your soulmate takes patience.

Thank you so much for reading this post! I hope it tickled your fancy like the taste of expensive chocolates! On a more serious note, please be aware, ask questions, and be a good friend! Research shows that suicide rates often rise in spring months, and Valentine’s Day for some people isn’t easy. If possible, spread the love by being there for someone who’d otherwise feel alone. You’ve got the power to save a life!

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255


By The Freed Sparrow

Hi there! Welcome to The Freed Sparrow! I am a lifestyle and travel blog determined to spread body advocacy, sustainability, and the power of a positive voice! I am an aspiring children's and YA novelist, an adventure seeker by nature, and the biggest bookworm you'll ever meet!

Thank you so much for stopping by! Happy writing!

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